I am still here....

I am still here...maintaining...so much going on in the lives of people around me that I have not had time to dwell on myself....My left leg has really been bothering me..I went to the Doctor the other day and he told me the results of my MRI were that there is some herniation on the left side at L4 - L5 and S1....there is also some scar tissue built up. His suggestion was to continue with the physical therapy and if not better in a couple of months then I should see Dr. Nair again...he said I may need more surgery....well that is fine..in the mean time I am doing my physical therapy and walking on the treadmill here at home. Doing the best I can to rebuild what I had - if that makes sense to you....

I am tired of this...I am tired of not having pain free days.....I am tired of not being able to just get up and run and jump in my car and go...I am tired of not being able to play with Walker because he is too strong for me...I am tired of not being able to work all day and clean my house. I am tired of my life being on hold...but I don't know how to fix it...I see no light at the end of the tunnel...I am tired of walking with a cane....I am tired of not being able to have orgasams...I am tired of not being able to set in my bathtup and shave my legs because I can't get in and out of it....I am just tired of this whole process....

My Left leg is really bothering me now...the pain is not as intense as it was in the beginning of this but it is there. I am tired of having pain every day...I just wish this was over...but then I wonder if it ever will end...In all honesty I don't think so at this point. In the mean time...I am still here...and I am maintaining...somedays that is all I can do.....

Hope you have painfree day and nights!