Ok...today was a really unsettling day....My body aches and my head and heart are gloomy. I chose to not go to my family reunion today...I think it is the first one I have every missed....Physically and emotionally I just could not do it.....My left leg has really been giving me some issues. I go to the drs on Tuesday....I am not sure if this is due to more herniation of the disc or if it because nerves are healing. I just know that I am still in pain...walking with a cane and missed the first reunion ever in my life. I guess thats the way it goes.
I can't really blame missing the reuion on my health..it was alot of family dynamics too....I just could not handle it...I needed to be home in my own space so that is what I chose to do....hard decision and my mother was not at all pleased but I am sorry ....that is the way it goes....My grandsons and I had a pretty good day....Charlie took off with his dad when he came home and Benson and I hung around the house...he helped me do some stuff around here...they are pretty good kids....I worry about them.....
I seem to be worrying about everything all the time lately and seem to be doing nothing but crying and feeling sorry for myself...I don't like it....I don't like it at all. I need to do something....get off my ass and do something. I just wish this was over.....I miss my independence and I am tired of crying....I just don't understand why this had to happen to me.....I mean if it is karma...shit I must really be a bad one...and then I think ...it is because I need to learn a lesson....ok....whats the lesson and can we speed this up....I want to do like Uncle Kracker says in his song.....smile....I want to dance in the sunshine....I think that is how the like goes....it's a good song.
Ok I am out of here.....hopefully the man of my dreams will visit me tonight. Night all...peaceful
and painless I hope for you all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment