I have heard the katydids for several weeks now...that means winter is just around the corner...I am really not looking forward to winter....it is hard enough for me to motivate on bare ground...I can only imagine what slick walkways and so forth will be like for me....guess I will just have to rely on the men in my life to pick up the slack. I think I am trying to prepare myself to be a shut in for the winter.....not really....the thought of it is already getting to me.
I haven't written here for awhile because I have been so busy with kids....seems like I have them alot...then throw in Jr and Jason and my mom....well for someone that does not get around much it sure seems to me that I am busy. I know I am tired. I really feel tired lately.
I thought I seemed to be getting along better and was curious as to whether I really needed the pain medications....well....I decided I would take myself off of them. Well I am here to tell you ....if you decide to take yourself off of any medications talk to your doctor first! I have never been so sick in my life as I was then. I had sweats, sick to my stomach, diarreaha, chills, and my bones ached....Well my son gave me the devil and made me take a pain pill..and within the hour I was feeling better....So what this tells me is that my body is addicted to the narcotics. NOT my brain because I would really like to throw them away...but I can't because I need them for the pain firstly...and secondly I am physically addicted to them and will have to do a regiment of decreasing them to get them out of my system. I would like to think that soon I can pitch them but....if I have many nights like I did last night I may need to keep taking them. My back woke me up this morning hurting....I slept with my legs propped up .....but that did not seem to matter...I was hurting. I get so tired of hurting.
My bladder and bowel functions seem to be returning to normal....I am so happy about that. I would like to think that sexual functioning is returning also....truth is we have very little time it seems for sex....kids kids kids! It is pretty bad when grandma and grandpap have to make an appointment for sex!
The numbness in my legs seems to come and go...my left leg actually seems to be bothering me more lately. I find that amazing...it was my right leg that was affected first! The arch of both feet, the big toe, and second toe and up the top of my foot is numb. I still feel like I am standing on gravel. And omg does it hurt if I step on something, like a pebble or popcorn kernal, omg....it feels like someone is stabbing me in the foot.
I still cannot stand for long periods of time...just about long enough to do the dishes then I am needing to sit down. My lower back starts hurting and it goes right down the back of my legs to my heels.....it sucks getting old!
I am still on the same medicine regiment - except the dr decreased my pain meds by one...so now I take only 2 hydrocodone a day...tramadol, naproxian, and gaberpenten for pain and nerve healing.
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I still have trouble with depression...I still am having a hard time sitting around all the time....I wish I could get up and run with the dogs....soon.....I am hoping anyway!
Ok....I will try to add more later,
Lynn!
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