Just another day...

I wonder how many times I will say that before I realize that is how it is gonna be...know what I mean? Today is just another day....nothing spectacular....got my hair done...paid my water bill...went to the Dr's....wrong day....I have to go back tomorrow....lol....went to the bank...got the kids ....ordered pizza and hoagies....hung out and played on Facebook....just another day.

I was suppose to get my foot xrayed but did not want to drive to Oakland - about 21 miles from here by myself - sometimes my foot feels heavy and is hard to move fast so I only drive very short distances and only if my foot does not feel heavy and numb. Just another day!

I have really been in a pissy mood lately...the emotional garbage that has been hanging on in this neighborhood is really taking its toll on me. I am tired of being nice to people and being hurt. I am tired of people deliberately trying to hurt you because......because they have nothing better to do? because they are jealous? because they are ignorant? who knows? You have this stuff when you live in a small neighborhood. I have lived at this lake for 18 years and am still a summer person....lol....I really find it amusing most days, but for some reason I am really bothered by the he said she said bull shit that is floating out of a lot of mouths lately.....this place is so small that my sons divorce is the major news....get the picture? Just another day in the big city! lol I honestly think that feelings like this aggrivates my pain level....I don't know if that is possible but I know it seems like I have more pain on more stressfull days....maybe because your whole body tenses or your blood pressure goes up....might have to investigate that. I am going to have to Google Stress and nueropathy and see what I come up with. I Googled Peripheal Nueropathy last night and learned alot about nerve pain....it will help me explain to my Dr exacty what I am feeling. Knowledge is a good thing!

By tomorrow I will remember that shit happens in a small town....and sometimes people just do not realize that when they break bridges sometimes they just cannot be rebuilt. I never was the kind of person to sit at my neighbors house and gossip about my other neighbor....for years I worked as a medical receptionist....then we moved here, 25 miles from everywhere.....lol....so then I got my dogs and off we went to training sessions...we (me and my dogs) would travel to Pennsylvania, Maryland, Southern West Virginia for training and to go to shows...I kind of did my own thing.....it was my dream to have a Rottweiler I could show...I got him and he was 4 months old when I broke my leg....now I have this CES and he is 3...he never finished his training...and he is a brat....he is my baby boy....lol....see I would rather go to the park with my dogs than visit my neighbors and gossip....just not my cup of tea. So when you realize you are the talk of the neighborhood it kind of hurts. Just another day!

I realize tho that one of the reasons I am having such a hard time with this is the lack of mobility....I don't feel comfortable enough to just get up and run to the kitchen to answer the phone...now I let the answering machine pick it up and don't fret about it....not much I can do about it anyway. I hate the fact that I don't feel free to just get in my car and go....I am afraid to take off by myself....I am frustrated because I cannot clean my house....and the list goes on.

I can sit here and get myself in a funk because my legs are hurting and I have CES and my son is getting a divorce and the sun is not shining and my dog has fleas and the list goes on but I think I will choose not to do that...I think I will try to remember that my glass is half full...that while I cannot run to answer my phone and my floors do need vacuumed God has a plan for me and mine. He knows exactly where this is going..(I hope so cause I can't drive very good yet!)....I could spend my time sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself, I could turn into one of those gossip people, but I really choose not to do that...I am better than that, although somewhat judgemental maybe....I will work on that! I just really want to concentrate on getting healthy. I want to put myself in a healing frame of mind....I want to be the best person I can be and I want to walk again.....without a cane...then it will be "Just another day"