Meds, the Pharmacy, and me!

Well this weekend went really well....I hobbled around...the nights were painful for me but they always are. I swear I think the nerves are in there having a party or running a marathon from my but to my toes.

My Pharmacy and I had it out yesterday. I ran out of my pain medication yesterday...I had to take extra when I fell and messed up my foot...well it was too early by one day for the insurance to pay for it..I told them I would pay for it myself, how much is it? Her answer was $32.29...so I write the check out....and she stands there and watches me write it out...I hand it to her...and she hands it back to me and says ...."Well the pharmacist said you cannot have it because you should still have some left...(by my count I should have had one day left which amounted to 6 pills that I took because of the fall) I then said...My Doctor called them in for me...it is a new script...she said " You can have it tomorrow" By this time I was so mad and hurting..I felt like she was accusing me of being a drug addict or something....I had just left physical therapy and was starting to hurt by this time.. It was not pretty and I told the old bat that I would not be here to pick it up tomorrow or any other day....and we left. When I got home I called the pharmacy that I used to use - Which is run by a family that has known us forever - I had changed pharmacy's to be closer to moms when I was staying down there when she was ill...it was more convenient for me. Jr stayed at our old pharmacy when I transferred my meds from there - so they had all my insurance on file still and I made them aware of my situation with the back surgery and so on. They assured me that they would help me figure it out. I was so pissed off... OMG! I called them this morning and they had already gotten the Hydrocodone filled for me and was waiting for a fax from the Doctor for my other two meds I needed.....Maybe I am a pill popper...When I was diagnosed with this I gained 3 new Doctors and 6 new medicines......what fun!

So anyway, last night was a very painful night for me ! Actually I am glad that I ran out of the Hydrocodone. I was in pain but now I know that I do need them and it is not an addiction kind of thing...I find myself looking at the clock to see when I can take my next meds and I was worrying about myself. Now I am convinced the pain is really there and is not going away any time soon. I got through the night with taking my Gaberpentin, Tramadol and Naproxin and...are you ready...Horse Liniment from Tractor Supply...I bought it to rub on Sativas hips...I think I used it every hour on the hour..but I think after about the fourth time (it is a lotion) it really did help! I just took the Gaberpentin for my noon dose and I did realize it does help with the pain also..I was not sure it was doing anything ...so this was really a good thing. I am doing ok today...but then days are easier than nights....Nights are unbearable some times...If the Gaberpentin calms the pain down during the day I may be able to cut out the noon Hydorcodone or Neurontin.....the miracle drug! I was not convinced they really would help with the pain but it does...from my understanding it numbs the part of the brain that issues pain messages(lol) and one of the other properties is the it helps to heal the nerve. Do NOT quote me on that....I have not looked them up yet on here or if I did I am not remembering it. That is something too....My memory (short term) is messed up....and I will try to say a word and it is like I cannot get it out sometimes...I think it is the Gaberpentin. Both the Dr and the Physical Therapist told me that it will make me feel goofy till I get used to it. I started out at 600mg a day, then he increased me to 900 mg a day, then on my visit with him last week he doubled it so now I am taking 1800 mg of it a day. My Dr told me that I could go up one more level to 2700 mg a day and we would work up to it. Both he and the PT guy (Bill - super nice!) said this drug was the drug to take. He said it is wonderful once you get it regulated. They use it for seizures also...like I said it calms a part of the brain..so that is Gaberpentin for you! It does make me feel relaxed I can say that...but I am always goofy~~~ LOL! Jason said he can tell when I take it....it makes me slower he said. LOL Gaberpentin is the generic for Neurontin. I am gonna look them up!

So yesterday and this morning I was walking with my walker..the cane was just not doing it...my leg is really weak and it feels like it is going to pop out all the time and yesterday it was used and abused! So I opted to use my walker so I would not fall. Today my girlfriend told me her daughter described me as being disabled....I really have not tried to look at myself in that way....but it is true...I am considered Disabled now. I used to say that I felt if you could get up and go to the bathroom by yourself you were having a wonderful day...I have a much greater appreciation of that now. I don't like the word disabled but I guess that is what I am.

I find myself getting angry at my situation. It pisses me off that I cannot do what I want to do.I cannot stand it....all I do is cook a dinner....and that is only if I can stand and walk to the refrigerator...sometimes I can't stand..and I do not like being waited on.....and my husband insists...he is always telling me to just sit down he will do it. Truth is he is good with meals and carrying stuff for me..helping me get in and out of bed if I am really in pain...he is really very good with that stuff but.......OMG .....housework is not his forte'.......he does not know what doing the dishes is....I think he thought the dish fairy did them! And forget vacuuming and stuff like that....he is a coal miner....and he tells me that when it is time to do the dishes but yet he does not want me to do them either. Now you figure that one out! Jason wants me to have someone come in and clean once a week....I don't know why I don't.....I just feel like my house is too dirty to have someone come in......I would have to clean before I could get a cleaning lady!Lol So anyway, I still get mad at the world....and my poor husband takes the blunt of most of it....I swear I do not know why the man does not divorce me......I think he got a lemon.

I had an attack of something with my bowels today.....I started getting really bad pains in my rectum...it felt like it was up inside - not like a hemmroid .....so I took a Bentyl and went to the bathroom...passed gas but that is all. That to me is a good thing.....at least I am doing that so maybe I will get the urges back...I am hoping so. Being constipated is no fun. I need to incorporate more fiber in my diet and fruit. Such is life!

Well that about covers it for today....I am tired from not sleeping last night so I think I am going to take a nap....by the time I get a nap in Jason will be home and ready for dinner....pot roast in the crock pot...yum yum!