Finally an answer to some of my questions.

Finally today I went to the doctor and he gave me some real answers. Maybe I just asked the right questions but at least I feel like I have a game plan and that feels really good....guess maybe I am in charge again...how I handle this is up to me...now that I really know what it is!

My doctor today told me indeed I am diagnosed with cauda equina syndrome....none of the other Dr's would say the words to me...it was yes it is nerve damage...this was because of the fragments on the nerve...and so on...it was like no one wanted to say the words. That really upset me....I needed to hear what it was that was really causing my leg pain and making me pee my pants...and the other various things that were going on....I needed to know what it was that I was dealing with, I needed to hear that my symptoms really did exsist and today he said "yes Lynn..it is Cauda Equina and NO this is not in your imagination." So now we have a name for the things that are happening to my body....and it is all good...imagine that! The pain is the nerves healing...come on pain...lol...no really...I can handle some pain if I can walk again...crap we just did that with my other leg! He did tell me that nerves heal very very slowly and that he has had patients that have reported healing up to 5 years after incident of nerve damage but that 1 and 1/2 years will be our marker...he said it will take at least that long for the nerves to heal and we will aim for that ...then we will get excited...I like his style....lol...so now I have a time frame and by then we should know exactly what we are dealing with..and now I can relax a bit. I honestly thought when I woke up from surgery and could wiggle my toes and had no leg pain...hahhhhhhhhhhhh...I was thrilled...I mean I thought OK you heal this body up and you are good to go....I did not understand that the nerves were damaged and had to heal. I had not a clue what was in store for me....I was beating myself up because I thought I should be doing better than I am....here it was three months post op and I am still in pain...and I cannot walk any better than I could before the surgery.....NOW.... I feel like I am right on schedule or am doing well...it is ok to hurt and it is ok that you still walk funny....if that makes sense. Now I can relax and heal myself....this has made all the difference to me...Junior understood immediately when I told him how I felt...he knows me so well....Now I have a goal and something to work towards...I know I will be OK....I may walk funny for awhile but I guarantee you...I will walk and my leg will work again.....and I feel right on schedule and I am no longer afraid my leg will not work.....I am getting more sensation this week with my bladder too...so that is a good thing...so really I am doing very well.

Another good thing he did ....I really am gaining a great respect for my new Doctors....omg...they listen to me....they answer my questions...it is a blessed relief...it is all the difference. I feel pretty good about what they are doing for me and I know that is a big part of healing....at any rate I now have an appointment with a physical therapist ...but not just a therapist ...this guy is a Doctor with a background in neurology...so he will be familiar with the cauda equina nerves and what to look for....I am impressed and so very hopeful....at any rate I go there Tuesday morning for an evaluation with this Doctor. So that is a good thing. He will also understand about the nerve pain and we may beable to do some things to help that ....so maybe no pain clinic! That would be a good thing and save me miles on the road....lol...even when I can get out I don't want to go far....I really do love my home and just want to beable to do what I want to do around here!

All in all I feel like I had a very successful appointment with my Doctor.....at least I have a game plan and I know that there is light at the end of this tunnel....Life goes on....this is just another little delay....but life goes on and that is good thing.

Peace and love to all....


me!

PS...it is suppose to frost tonight at our little edge of the earth....my hubby covered up my bleeding heart with a sheet so it would not freeze....now how sweet is that coal miner????
My rock.